Say you’re walking down the sidewalk on a beautiful day. Someone who has internalized an outsider’s perspective of herself will often spend more time adjusting her clothing or hair, wondering what other people are thinking of her, judging the shape of her shadow or reflection in a window, etc. She will picture herself walking – she literally turns herself into an object of vision – instead of enjoying the sunny weather….
… Women are constantly being looked at. Even when we’re not, we’re so hyperaware of the possibility of being looked at that it can rule even our most private lives. Including in front of our mirrors, alone."
Good Gawd, THIS.
I’m working to re-define my thinking about myself and walk in the glorious space of not being an object for other people’s visual consumption and the freedom it brings.
And reminding people of that fact when they feel compelled to comment.
"Judging the shape of her shadow" Yep. Yep yep yep yep.
there are days when i actually cannot see feminism debates or race debates or stupid people or islamophobia
and then there are days when i can see them but i can’t interact with them, or if i do, it’s going to be coated with cynicism
i don’t have the mental or emotional energy to constantly fight those battles or be weighed down by the desire to educate
i don’t know much about self care but that’s something that i’ve figured out. that if i wear myself thin for people who (not only don’t give a shit but who) are stuffed with misconception and prejudice, i’m not going to be able to sleep or breathe or function.
i’ve wanted to write about this a lot because i’ve noticed it more and more lately. being jaded hurts. i’ve stepped out of the sociocultural matrix. taken the red pill. and it’s killing me inside.
and it’s not that i don’t want educate! it’s that i can’t. because when you’re up against someone who insists that 1. transgenderism is a mental illness and 2. you informing him that what he said is really offensive and he calls you uncivilized and incapable of having a civil discussion.. the frustration clots your blood and oozes down your spinal cord. it’s the worst kind of bitterness because you WANT to teach and you WANT to shake them by the neck and you WANT it to be easier because why can’t everyone learn like you did or understand anything outside of their little bubble of life. especially because it affects you. i can’t imagine how people fighting racism feel. bless you all.
i’ve stepped out of the sociocultural matrix. taken the red pill. and it’s killing me inside.
Abortion seems to be the only medical procedure that people want to deny you based on how you got in that situation.
Drove drunk, got in an accident and need an organ transplant? No problem.
Messing around with a gun, accidentally shoot yourself in the leg and need surgery? Of course.
Smoke tobacco for most of your life and need treatment for lung cancer? Yep.
Climb a tree, fall out and break your leg? We’ll fix that right up.
Have sex and get pregnant when you don’t want to be? YOU GOT YOURSELF INTO THIS SITUATION AND YOU DESERVE NO MEDICAL HELP OR COMPASSION! THIS IS YOUR FAULT AND YOU WILL DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES!"
“Worry about your own uterus” wise wise words.
I love this so much! Am now adopting “Lewis’s Law” into my writing and speech forever more!
The only reason to read the comments, I guess?
Barbara Ehrenreich, “Made to Order”
Relevant to an argument I just had on Twitter about “disruptive” protest at Walmart in supposed solidarity with the Black Friday strikes. Picket, protest, march and rally all you want, hold a sit-in, but please, before you do things like deliberately create a mess in the store or leave a full cart in the checkout line, consider who’s going to have to clean up the mess that you make. It’s not going to be Rob Walton or any of the other multibillionaires. It won’t even be the assistant manager. It’ll be the same low-wage worker who maybe wanted to go on strike but wasn’t quite convinced, or who was threatened by their boss, who’s working an extra-long shift on the worst shopping day of the year.
Solidarity doesn’t mean you decide for yourself what is best for the workers. It means showing up in the ways they need and want you to and letting them decide how to build worker power.
When you add any variation of the phrase “If you don’t reblog this, you’re bad” to meaningful posts, it RUINS THE POST.
You cease to make it about the meaning of the image and instead make it about your words. You make it about shame. That’s just not cool.
Excuse me, MRA’s.
Can I have V for Vendetta back?
Seriously it’s a really good movie
but now I gag whenever I see the Guy Fawkes mask.
The problem with arguing on the internet using facts is that the people who understand facts are already on your side.
If I look up “carrot” in the dictionary, most people will acknowledge I do not know all there is to know about carrots and if I truly want to understand carrots, I should probably pick up a horticultural text book. We know that legal and medical terms are going to be, at best, simplistically represented and know we need to find a lawyer or a doctor if we want to know more. Anyone deciding to base their argument on, say, a philosophical concept or term using the dictionary is going to be laughed at at best, or automatically lose whatever argument they’re trying to make at least.
Yet the minute we move into a social justice framework, the ultimate authority changes. We don’t need lived experience, we don’t need experts who have examined centuries of social disparities and discrimination, we don’t need societal context. We don’t need sociology or history – no, we have THE DICTIONARY! That ultimate tome of oracular insight, the last word on any debate!
It’s patently ridiculous and you can see that by applying it to any other field of knowledge. But the privileged will continually trot out simplistic, twitter-style dictionary definitions as if they are the last word and the ultimate authority. No-one would drag out the dictionary to debate science with a scientist. But they’re more than willing to trot out a dictionary definition of racism over any sociological analysis. A dictionary is not the ultimate authority - they’re a rough guide for you to discover the simple meaning of words you’ve never heard before – not an ultimate definition of what the word means and all its contexts."
- Sparky at Womanist Musings. YES! (via flowerskss)
More about why the dictionary wont win you an argument
A Bingo Game for every Facebook conversation about sexism
I’m a guy, and I need feminism. Not “men’s rights.” Feminism. Here is why.
Everything that MRAs talk about that men can’t do or are socially punished for arise directly and immediately from misogyny. Not “misandry.” Misogyny.
Whether I am expressing my emotions, playing with children, baking, having sex wherein I am penetrated in any way, wearing the wrong color, talking the wrong way, moving the wrong way, being sexually harassed/assaulted, or paying too little attention to looking like I’m not paying attention to how I look, when society punishes me or derides me or marginalizes me for these things, it is happening because they are things women, not men, are expected to do, and our society at large fucking hates women.
Has that sunk in yet?
Men, can you even think of a single goddamn way you have ever been mocked that wasn’t related to something that a misogynist society sees as feminizing? Even when large men are mocked for their bodies, they are referred to as having “man-boobs,” for fucks sake.
How do you expect to improve those things with “men’s rights?” What right are you fighting for? I can tell you what I think you’re fighting for. I think you’re fighting for the right to contain and control misogyny, and direct it back at women, where you think it belongs. You want to maintain your privilege but erase its consequences, and that’s why your movement is farcical; it’s a big fucking feedback loop. How do you expect men to be free from the peripheral effects of misogyny when you refuse to even fucking believe it’s real?
This is one of the absolute best pieces of commentary on this issue that I’ve read.
The right to free speech (if you live in a country that allows you that) means the government won’t put you in jail for what you’re saying. It doesn’t protect you from other people telling you to shut the fuck up.
there is nothing romantic about being a mess and flunking out of school and crying in therapist’s offices and i wish movies would stop romanticizing this kind of thing bc it’s actually v shitty