Trying to keep your mouth shut when you’re a guest in someone’s house and they keep saying things which are just verging on racist/sexist/generally inappropriate and you’re just like
me every day
shoutout to all the other ex-gifted & talented/honor student/straight a/senior editor/star student/99th percentile/once-creative burn-outs who have, since high school, realized they are truly miniscule fish in a giant, endless ocean, criticized themselves to the point of creative paralysis, and participated in so much self-sabotage they no longer see the point of doing anything at all because they’re just going to ruin it for themselves anyway
this one’s for you
crawling my way to the end of this semester
I am so disappointed. I bought this Hell Bunny Marlene Dress for my birthday but upon trying it on it is clear that it is too short. Not only is it too short to start with, it a) is made of a stretchy material that causes it to ride up when you move, and b) has a huge goddamn cutout at the back which leaves your asscheeks to hang out for the world to see. In the second photo I had pulled it right down, but you can still see my black underwear in the slit. I literally cannot wear this, at least not without opaque tights. I had been looking forward to getting this for my birthday for so long. :( And I bought it on sale, so their policy is no returns for sale items.
I’m quitting life to become a burrito, bbl
GPOY after finishing Mass Effect 3.
OMG I just posted this on George’s wall saying OMG because it is a picture of him and me and it is amazing
I don’t want to be a feminist anymore. Like a five-year-old, I want to close my eyes, stick my fingers in my ears, stomp my feet on the floor and scream “No! No, you cannot make me, I won’t, leave me alone!” I am, simply put, too tired. So very, very tired.
I am tired of fighting with my friends. I am tired of arguing that someone groping and slapping my butt isn’t “what I have to expect”, just because I’m at a bar, and the one attacking my butt has a drink in the other hand. I am tired of hearing “boys will be boys” and “when you’re dressed like that …” and “that’s just what guys do”. I am tired of trying to drown those sentiments in loud, repetitive no’s, screamed over and over again, till my throat is sore and my voice weak – just to hear them repeated, as soon as exhaustion threatens to silence me.
I am tired of being afraid. I am tired of seeing someone writing something offensive, sexist, racist, ageist, ableist, somewhere online. I am tired of seeing those writings getting likes and lol’s, and SO TRUE’s. I am tired of being consumed by confusion and anger, typing, typing, typing and typing a seemingly endless response, including research, links and statistics, and then hesitate clicking “submit”. I am tired of knowing that I hesitate because I am afraid of the flood of responses that will come. I am tired of knowing that I will be bombarded with lighten up’s, stop whining’s and get a sense of humor’s for so long, that I will start to wonder if I am indeed wound up too tight, a nagger and humorless. I am tired of the fact that I’m afraid of being called a cunt, even though I don’t find genitalia insulting or demeaning.
I am tired of being told. I am tired of being told that “a key that unlocks many locks is a good key, but that a lock that can be unlocked by many keys is a bad lock”. I am tired of the fact that nobody who says this has ever been able to tell me what it is that needs to be locked up. I am tired of being told “your boobs are awesome, you should show them of “. I am tired of being told that “that looks a little slutty”. I am tired of being told that I shouldn’t be a prude, but I shouldn’t be slutty. I am tired of that nobody seems to be able to explain how to do so. I am tired of being told that I can just say no, and I am tired of being told “come on, you know you want to”.
I am tired of being told “But we HAVE equality!”
I am tired of being asked. I am tired of being asked if I’m a lesbian or if I was raped. I am tired of being asked if daddy didn’t treat me right. If I was in an abusive relationship. If I was beaten. If I grew up with a single mother. If I don’t like sex. I am sick and tired of being asked “But, why are you a feminist, then?” I am tired of being asked why I wear make-up. Why I wear a bra. Why I wear skirts and dresses. Why I flirt with men. Why I shave my legs. I am tired of asking “why do you ask me this?” and hearing the answer “because real feminists are against those things, aren’t they?”
Most of all, I am tired of knowing. Knowing that my eyes have been opened, and that what has been seen cannot be unseen. I am tired of knowing it, when I see something that is wrong. I am tired of knowing that only speaking out can change it. I am tired of knowing exactly how hard and scary it can be to do so. I am tired of knowing that if I am not careful, the fight will eat up my hope and strength, and leave me only with bitterness. I am tired of knowing that I can never turn back to not knowing. I am tired of knowing that despite my fears and exhaustion, I am a feminist.
No, I don’t want to be a feminist anymore – today.
Tomorrow? Tomorrow I think I’ll try again.
1. See it as something that isn’t permanent. Even though it hurts now, it won’t always be this way. One day you’ll find others who will treat you properly – so be gentle on yourself and recognise that it will pass.
2. Learn to enjoy your own company. See it as a time to reflect on your life, and really think through what you want for yourself.
3. Find different things you can do, and enjoy, by yourself. Also, developing new interests will stop you feeling bored.
4. Spend time looking after a pet or animal. Pets are consistent, loyal and reliable. They’ll never hurt your feelings, and they’re good company.
5. Talk to other people that you meet casually (at the checkout, in a queue, or when you’re ordering some food). You’re likely to find you get a warm response – and that will remind you that you’re actually OK!
6. Don’t let this bad experience undermine your confidence. Keep reaching out to others, and one day things will change - and you’ll find other people who like to be with you.
depression comix #17