As a stripper, I am faced with this question daily. If not online, then by my peers. If not by my peers, then by the judgemental partners of some of the other girls I dance with. If not by their partners, then by customers themselves! Someone, somewhere, is always going to be asking me (and any other sex worker, I am sure) this question.
In person, I do not give them the time of day; my time is money and unless you are paying, I am not explaining SHIT about my life to you. Period. However, since I have been neglecting this blog for a while now, what better way to ease back into it than to write a few short responses to this particular question. I’m sure all of you sex workers can relate.
- Unfortunately, as women, we are ALL objectified in our workplace. Whether we work at Bras n’ Things, or as a computer technician, in a hair salon or in a strip club, we are ALWAYS going to be objectified by men when we are at work. It started in school when they told us to wear longer skirts so as not to distract the boys, and it will continue until we reach menopause and are no longer deemed to have sexual value.
- The difference, then, between an office worker being sexually objectified at her workplace, and me, a stripper, being objectified every night as part of my job description, is consent.
- When I am at work, I am well aware that I am stepping into an environment in which I use the fact that I am highly attractive and charismatic for monetary gain. Objectification is not a distraction from my job, it is the entire point of it. Just as a woman would consent to sexual intercourse in bed with her partner, I am consenting to being seen as an object, if you will, on the stage and in the lap room.
- Women who work in offices/retail stores/restaurants/courtrooms do not have this power, as they have not consented to being objectified. Their objectification is a distraction from their work and it has nothing to do with their work, and therefore it is not okay.
- In my workplace, I have all of the power. If I do not like something that a man says or does to me, I can get him kicked out straight away. If he is not tipping me, I am literally allowed to tell him to get the fuck off my tipping seats. If he says something that disrespects me, I can go up to my favourite bouncer and get him politely asked to leave; if he tries to touch me during a private dance, I can scream for the same bouncer and get him thrown face first down the stairs.
- Some adorable men think they’re in control at the strip club, but they are not, have never been, and will never be. At least in clubs that are run right.
So, how can I be a feminist and a stripper?
Because feminism is about CHOICE. I choose to be objectified at work. It makes me laugh - I do next to no work for hundreds and hundreds of dollars a night; I make men putty under my fingertips; I do not respect most men because they have given me no reason to respect them, so I will take the last fifty out of their wallets and leave them with no cab fare home if I have to. Why? Because that same man, I can guarantee you, would cat-call me in the street if he saw me, and since that is NOT a place where I consent to objectification, I may as well make the most of it whilst I’m at work.
i learned in anthro this past week that the reason why women’s sexuality in a patriarchy is policed and watched so carefully originates from the fact that a man needed to know for sure that the child his wife was giving birth to was his own for inheritance reasons
and how in a matriarchy, no one cares about who sleeps with who because in the end the woman knows for a fact that the baby inside her is hers
Peter is a gay man I slept with once. When he did come home with me and we were naked in my bed, he kissed my neck, and I moaned, high-pitched and breathy. He stopped, looked me in the eye and said, “Don’t do that. It’s faggy.”
We learnt in karate that punching that point of the temple can/will kill a person.
More people die from suicide than from murder and war combined, throughout the world, every year. Research in the US and other countries estimates that between 30 to 50 percent of people have met current psychiatric diagnostic criteria for major depressive disorder sometime in their lives. But the brain plays crucial roles in promoting survival and reproduction, so the pressures of evolution should have left our brains resistant to such high rates of malfunction. Mental disorders should generally be rare — why isn’t depression?
In an article recently published in Psychological Review argues that depression is in fact an adaptation, a state of mind which brings real costs, but also brings real benefits. One reason to suspect that depression is an adaptation comes from research into a molecule in the brain known as the 5HT1A receptor. The 5HT1A receptor binds to serotonin, another brain molecule that is highly implicated in depression and is the target of most current antidepressant medications. Rodents lacking this receptor show fewer depressive symptoms in response to stress, which suggests that it is somehow involved in promoting depression. (Pharmaceutical companies, in fact, are designing the next generation of antidepressant medications to target this receptor.) When scientists have compared the composition of the functional part rat 5HT1A receptor to that of humans, it is 99 percent similar, which suggests that it is so important that natural selection has preserved it. The ability to “turn on” depression would seem to be important, then, not an accident.
Obviously, this is not to say that depression is not a problem.
So what could be so useful about depression? Depressed people often think intensely about their problems. These thoughts are called ruminations; they are persistent and depressed people have difficulty thinking about anything else. Numerous studies have also shown that this thinking style is often highly analytical. They dwell on a complex problem, breaking it down into smaller components, which are considered one at a time.
This analytical style of thought, of course, can be very productive. Each component is not as difficult, so the problem becomes more tractable. For instance, in some of our research, we have found evidence that people who get more depressed while they are working on complex problems in an intelligence test tend to score higher on the test.
Analysis requires a lot of uninterrupted thought, and depression coordinates many changes in the body to help people analyze their problems without getting distracted. In a region of the brain known as the ventrolateral prefrontal cortex (VLPFC), neurons must fire continuously for people to avoid being distracted. But this is very energetically demanding for VLPFC neurons, just as a car’s engine eats up fuel when going up a mountain road. Moreover, continuous firing can cause neurons to break down, just as the car’s engine is more likely to break down when stressed. Studies of depression in rats show that the 5HT1A receptor is involved in supplying neurons with the fuel they need to fire, as well as preventing them from breaking down. These important processes allow depressive rumination to continue uninterrupted with minimal neuronal damage, which may explain why the 5HT1A receptor is so evolutionarily important.
Many other symptoms of depression make sense in light of the idea that analysis must be uninterrupted. The desire for social isolation, for instance, helps the depressed person avoid situations that would require thinking about other things. Similarly, the inability to derive pleasure from sex or other activities prevents the depressed person from engaging in activities that could distract him or her from the problem. Even the loss of appetite often seen in depression could be viewed as promoting analysis because chewing and other oral activity interferes with the brain’s ability to process information.
But is there any evidence that depression is useful in analyzing complex problems? For one thing, if depressive rumination were harmful, as most clinicians and researchers assume, then bouts of depression should be slower to resolve when people are given interventions that encourage rumination, such as having them write about their strongest thoughts and feelings. However, the opposite appears to be true. Several studies have found that expressive writing promotes quicker resolution of depression, and they suggest that this is because depressed people gain insight into their problems.
But depression is nature’s way of telling you that you’ve got complex social problems that the mind is intent on solving. Therapies should try to encourage depressive rumination rather than try to stop it, and they should focus on trying to help people solve the problems that trigger their bouts of depression. (There are several effective therapies that focus on just this.) It is also essential, in instances where there is resistance to discussing ruminations, that the therapist try to identify and dismantle those barriers.
When one considers all the evidence, depression seems less like a disorder where the brain is operating in a haphazard way, or malfunctioning. Instead, depression seems more like the vertebrate eye—an intricate, highly organized piece of machinery that performs a specific function.
Who wants to take part in a little experiment for me?
I want to see how people measure up to the Kinsey scale, it’s a rating for sexuality.
Fill in these (okay maybe somewhat weird) questions and add your result?
4Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual.
5Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual.
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual.
pretty much exactly as expected
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual.
no surprise here
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual.
I wasn’t expecting that
Equally heterosexual and homosexual.
Considering I’m bisexual, I’d say this is accurate.
Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual.
2. Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual.
Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual.
Two-Spirit People (also Two Spirit or Twospirit) is an umbrella term sometimes used for what was once commonly known as berdaches, Indigenous North Americans who fulfill one of many mixed gender roles found traditionally among many Native Americans and Canadian First Nations communities.
Third gender roles historically embodied by Two-Spirit people include performing work and wearing clothing associated with both men and women. The presence of male two-spirits “was a fundamental institution among most tribal peoples.” Male and female two-spirits have been “documented in over 130 tribes, in every region of North America.
These individuals were sometimes viewed in certain tribes as having two spirits occupying one body. Their dress is usually a mixture of traditionally male and traditionally female articles.
Two-spirit people, specifically male-bodied (biologically male, gender female), could go to war and have access to male activities such as sweat lodges. However, they also took on female roles such as cooking and other domestic responsibilities. Today’s societal standards look down upon feminine males, and this perception of that identity has trickled into Native society.
Two-spirits might have relationships with people of either sex. Female-bodied two-spirits usually had sexual relations or marriages with only females. In the Lakota tribe, two-spirits commonly married widowers; a male-bodied two-spirit could perform the function of parenting the children of her husband’s late wife without any risk of bearing new children to whom she might give priority.
Relevant and Important.
Not a single one of your ancestors has ever failed in getting laid (Most people on tumblr will probably break the chain)
If you are 80 years old, you have lived through over 1/3 of America’s history
At one point, you were the youngest person in the world.
If a woman who is an only child has all boys (or no children at all), they are ending a chain of women that has been going since we were single-celled organisms.
The average human is a 28 year old Chinese man.
Dinosaurs were alive for longer than they have been extinct.
You breathe using just one nostril, then switch to the other 30 minutes later. Repeats for life. (After reading this pay attention)
In 30 or 40 years, people will be having 2000s parties. Just like now people throw “dress like the 70s” parties.
John Lennon is part of a group that has sold more CD’s than anyone else in the history of human life, and he never knew what a CD even was.
Grossness and morals define each other. For example, you won’t spit in the mouth of your girlfriend, yet you will kiss her.
You spend years seeing the same people often and you’ll never exchange words with them.
People hundreds of years from now will stumble upon your image without thought or emotion.
Everyone dies within six months of their birthday.
50% of all doctors graduated in the lower half of their class.
Mammals are just containers water uses to move itself from one place to another.
Many peoples most cherished beliefs come from 1st century writers and religious fanatics whose understanding of the natural world was below the level of a modern 5 year old.
The “food pyramid” that most of us grew up with was published by the US dept of agriculture. Their job is to promote agriculture, not to promote healthy eating.
80% of the images on the internet are of naked women.
If we ever meet superior aliens they will simply classify us under “violent, irrational apes” and will not be amazed by our art or philosophies, the same way we boringly classify newly discovered animals every year.
When the sun goes out, our descendants that watch it go out won’t be human.
When you’re about to die, you’ll regret all the days you took for granted.
The youngest mother in medical history was 5 years old. It makes you wonder about the generation gap for the people around you. Your best friend could be a thousand generations ahead of you. Your boss could be a hundred generations behind you. Makes sense considering he’s an asshole.
We magnify the differences between us, instead of the things that make us similar. You are not really any different than anyone else on earth that is your age, yet you feel like you are just because they speak a different language, eat different food, worship a different imaginary creature, or live somewhere else. In reality, we are all the same species living on the same planet. To bears, we probably look exactly the same.
Take a close look at the man and woman pictured here before reading further.
………. ………. …….. …….. …………. ………. ………… ……….. …………. ………..
You probably noticed a resemblance. But it’s more than that. These two pictures are the same face, unaltered, no make-up, nothing. They’re actually the same picture. The only difference is that different contrast was applied. This demonstrates how just a subtle shading alters our assumption of gender.
Which one are we supposed to assume is which? Cause they’re flopping for me, it’s like an optical illusion. As soon as I manage to see them one way, they change.
I assumed the first one is meant to be female (lighter skin, darker lips, appearance of eyeshadow) whereas the second one is to appear as male (more even skintone, lips not as defined, darker eyebrows). Idk, I just thought it was really interesting :)
High in the mountains of southwest China live the members of the Mosuo Tribe, widely-thought to be the last matriarchal society in the world. With 40,000 residents residing in villages alongside the pristine Lugu Lake, the people of this “Kingdom of Women” have no words in their language for “husband” or “father”. Women make all major decisions, own all land and dwellings, and maintain sole custody of the children born into their society.
Most importantly, the women of the Mosuo tribe practice a zuo hun, or “walking marriage,” which means that after they are initiated at the age of 13 women may take as many lovers as they wish throughout their lifetime. Any resulting children are raised by the women of the tribe and men are all referred to as “Uncles.” Paternity is never discussed or questioned.
5 Gender Stereotypes That Used To Be The Exact Opposite
“The more research we do, the more it seems like the only behavior consistently considered normal is the tendency to be way too strict about what normal behavior actually is — and then being really shitty to the people who don’t conform. So next time you hear someone criticized for not being “manly” or “feminine” enough, remember that, for the most part, the only things keeping it from being 180 degrees different are the numbers on the calendar.”
Holy shit, I finally tried this thing. I am pleasantly surprised and wicked proud of myself right now. Awww yeahhhh.
I just tried this! I got a score of 11, so not too bad >_< This was really interesting!