I need feminism because people are still being fooled by the “the doctor is a woman” riddle.
(Q: A man and his son are in a car accident. The man dies at the scene. The boy is taken directly to the hospital and into surgery. The surgeon looks down at him and says, “I can’t operate on this boy, he’s my son.” How is this possible? A: The surgeon is a woman.)
Ask somebody. 3 out of 5 people will be stumped.
Or the variations of that riddle, like, “There were two Indians walking down the road, the big Indian and the little one. The little one was the son of the big one, but the big Indian was not the father of the other. Who was the big one then?”
I never really thought about how much this reflects patriarchal thinking. Male is always the default. :/
Erykah Badu (via taintedsound)
Men deal with this by forcing sexuality that excludes them into revolving entirely around them.
Kiddo told me that when it’s bathroom break time in her Kindergarten class that the boys go as a group and the girls go as a group.
“Except for A. She thinks she’s a boy,” said Kiddo.
“Well, maybe A is a boy,” I responded.
“No, she’s a girl!”
“How do you know?”
“Because…she’s a girl.”
“Ok, Kiddo. Let me explain something to you. A person can be born with a vagina, but still be a boy because that’s what they are inside. Also, a person can be born with a penis but still be a girl because that’s what they are inside. Your body doesn’t decide if you are a boy or a girl. It’s just something you know.”
“Yes. So, if A asks you to call them a boy, will you?”
“Because everyone says she’s a girl!”
“Well, there are a lot of people who don’t understand that being a boy or a girl is not something they decide. It’s something each person knows about themself. You know you’re a girl, right?”
“So, don’t you think A knows if they are a boy or a girl?”
“So if A asks you to call them a boy, will you?”
“That’s great, Kiddo. You know why? Because, like I said, there a lot of people who won’t believe A and that’s gonna be something that hurts them a lot. But if A has just one person that believes them and treats them the way they want to be treated, that could help A a lot.”
“Ok. If A asks me, I will.”
OH GEE BUT WAIT! According to most people this is something that kids just can’t understand!!
While Kiddo may not understand everything about sex vs. gender and identity, she understands being nice and helping people.
I don’t doubt that we’ll probably have to revisit this topic again, but I honestly do think this is a topic worth talking to your kids about and it can be done.
HOW DIFFICULT. HOW SCARRING.
Male privilege is not having everything that upsets you written off as irrational feminism or PMS. Because there is no way you could be legitimately upset about something when you’re a silly irrational female.
If a cis man is griping about there not being enough cis-men-only spaces (gyms, clubs, whatever), ask him why he feels there needs to be. Without telling him why we need women-only spaces. See what he comes up with without help.
Then, when he likely comes up with squat, ask if he feels like his gender is underrepresented in government, the media, and what people deem the most “important” or “intelligent” careers and hobbies.
Ask if he can’t name prominent male figures in supposedly female-dominated careers like fashion.
Ask if he feels threatened when going into spaces occupied by women.
Ask if he’s ever been verbally abused during online gaming for no other reason that he’s a man and men shouldn’t or can’t play video games.
Ask if he worries daily about being harassed when doing day-to-day activities in spaces occupied by women.
Ask if he’s been harassed on the street at least weekly since he was in his early teens for no other reason than his gender.
Ask if he was ever attacked or bullied by a girl or group of girls when he was younger, only to be told “girls will be girls” when he tried to seek justice.
Ask if the majority of his male friends have been sexually assaulted* and then blamed for it, because of what they were wearing, who they were with, where they were, or how friendly they were or weren’t to the woman who assaulted them.
Ask if he’s ever been threatened and verbally abused because he didn’t feel like sleeping with, flirting with, or even acknowledging a woman.
Ask if society acts as though it is a woman’s natural state to harm him and that it’s his responsibility to protect himself from women.
When he answers no, then ask again: why does he feel that there needs to be more male-only spaces?
(*NOTE: Male-only spaces for male victims of domestic abuse and/or sexual assault are one thing, but this post is in response to an ask about some dude bitching about not having men-only gyms just because women-only gyms exist and WHAT ABOUT THE MEN???)
“I wanted to buy a pair of roller skates, but they all had really girly names, like Vixen,” said a male friend of mine.
I wryly remarked that this was an everyday occurrence for girls. When he asked for clarification I explained that in many cases the default advertising is male, and then there is a “female version” coloured in pink with offensive advertising. See how “normal” lego is male, and then there’s a feminised version with less functionality.
“Yeah, but all the tomboy girls I knew never let that stop them,” another remarked.
And yes, that is so true. A lot of my favourite toys as a child were for boys. I loved my R/C car in spite, not because of the advertising. I loved video games in spite of poor representation. And after a while, I started to pride myself on not liking girly things and being one of the boys. It’s taken me a long time to unlearn that.
I wish I’d had the presence of mind to say all that. Instead, I merely said, “And there’s nothing stopping you from buying roller skates that are marketed to girls.”
Male privilege is not being expected to wear heels at events. Not practical at all.
There was a discussion a while back on this but I found a book called Random House Webster’s: grammar, usage, and punctuation that has a section titled “Avoiding insensitive and offensive language” and I thought I’d share some of what it has to say on the subject.
Replacing man or men
Man may refer to a male or to a human in general. This ambiguity is often though to be slighting of women.
- human beings, humans, humankind, humanity, people, human race, human species, Homo sapiens, society, men and women
a man who
- someone who, anyone who
- synthetic, artificial
man in the street
- average person, ordinary person
Using gender-neutral terms for occupations, positions, roles, etc
Terms that specify or imply a particular sex can unnecessarily perpetuate certain stereotypes when used generically.
- business executive, manager, business owner, retailer, etc.
cleaning lady, girl, maid
- housecleaner, housekeeper, cleaning person, office cleaner
- member of the clergy, minister, rabbi, priest, pastor, etc.
- the clergy
- representative, member of Congress, legislator
- insurance agent
- layperson, nonspecialist, nonprofessional
- mail carrier, letter carrier
- police officer, law enforcement officer
salesman, saleswoman, saleslady, salesgirl
- sales person, sales representative, sales associate, clerk
- spokesperson, representative
- flight attendant
- weather reporter, weathercaster, meteorologist
I could have made my opinion based on the title and subtitle. In journalism, titles and subtitles are no accident. You pick the most attractive titles and subtitles from a list. That was a premonition for the incoming fail.
MEN today are haunted by the “spectre of a coming gender apocalypse”, Hanna Rosin declares in her new book, “The End of Men”. How worried should they be? It is true that women are contributing more than ever to household income. They dominate university attendance around the world. In South Korea more women than men pass the foreign-service exam, which has sparked the foreign ministry to implement a minimum quota for men. In Brazil nearly a third of women earn more than their husbands, a phenomenon that has caused men to form church support-groupscalling themselves “Men of Tears”.
NEARLY A THIRD
EVERYONE BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE, THE SUPERIOR WOMEN ARE COMING! NEARLY A THIRD! NEARLY A THIRD!
Fuck this article, fuck the Economist for publishing it, fuck the Economist in general, fuck the editor, the fact-checkers, the columnist asshole, the board of directors, and I’m glad magazines and newspapers are sinking because it means in the future this bullshit will cease to exist because nobody cares about it, because they need to stoop to articles that are guaranteed to piss people off just so people will buy newspapers or put the article on their iPad.
Nobody read this article. It’s a piece of shit and can kiss my ass.
I’m really glad someone has commented on this - a similar article on the same book was published in the World section in the New Zealand newspapers. I bet a whole bunch of MRAs are going to lap up this shit. This author actually used the word “matriarchy” in all seriousness.
Male privilege is never having almost everything you do or say or want or wear reduced to being for the benefit of the opposite sex. It’s being able to make your own choices in life without being accused of doing just about everything - however big or small - to attract women or please women or impress women, or else being warned that women won’t find your choices attractive. It’s that society knows that men’s lives don’t revolve around women, while it continues to believe that women’s lives revolve around men.
Take a close look at the man and woman pictured here before reading further.
………. ………. …….. …….. …………. ………. ………… ……….. …………. ………..
You probably noticed a resemblance. But it’s more than that. These two pictures are the same face, unaltered, no make-up, nothing. They’re actually the same picture. The only difference is that different contrast was applied. This demonstrates how just a subtle shading alters our assumption of gender.
- @nataliereed84: Oh, you're cis? Nice to meet you! So, what's your vagina like?
- @nataliereed84: Wow! You look great! I never would have gussed you were cis!
- @Mowgli3: "But how am I supposed to learn what cis bodies are like if I can't ask you everything about yours?"
- @AndyTehNerd: But how can you be sure that's your gender? What if that's just what you were raised to believe?
- @nataliereed84: But are you SURE you want to remain male? How do you know for sure this is right for you?
- @AndersStarmark: Of course I support you. But I just want you tone it down. You're scaring people, and scared people are dangerous.
- @nataliereed84: But "cis" people might regret not transitioning! We need strict criteria for diagnosing cisgenderism to prevent that.
- @AndersStarmark: I don't believe Cises get raped. Who'd fuck one of them?
- @LanaLangton: Yeah you can come clubbing with us but only if you promise to act like a girl.
- @AndersStarmark: This magic ring will keep your gender the way it is.
- @nataliereed84: People with mental health disorders might think they're cis when they're really not. We can't trust their choices.
- @LanaLangton: You must declare your cisism immediately when you meet me or any of my friends else you are deceiving us.
- @nataliereed84: It's not my fault I'm not attracted to cis ppl. I just find your bodies icky. It's just my sexual orientation!
- @nataliereed84: No, but what's your REAL name? You know, the one you actually chose.
- @nataliereed84: Wait, so you think you're a womon-born-womon? Isn't that just equating sex with gender and buying into the patriarchy?
- @LanaLangton: sorry if you find what we say offensive it's just we're not used to actually talking to cis people & its only 'banter'
- @nataliereed84: Look son, I understand you identify as your birth sex, but why can't you just transition to being a butch lesbian?
- @AndersStarmark: No, I'm sorry, you may not use the ungendered restroom. A gendered one? No, never heard of them. Wouldn't work anyway.
- @nataliereed84: Isn't it a bit selfish to go around claiming you're really your birth sex and expect us all to just go along with it?
- @nataliereed84: You may think you're a woman because you're XX, but I think of you as male, and you need to respect my beliefs.
- @nataliereed84: But if we let cis men use the men's room, what's to stop one of them from raping your children!?!?
- @kinetictheorist: I'm glad your granddad died before finding out your cis
- @PeregrineTwist: so you mean your cock is ATTACHED!? How do you sterilise and wash it properly?
- @maeveregan: Oh, your new partner is cis? So do you actually have sex or what?
- @nataliereed84: Son, you say that you're a boy, but I think you're a bit too young to be making that decision.
- @nataliereed84: Honey, I know you think you want to remain male, but are you sure this isn't just a mid-life crisis?
- @AndersStarmark: I'm a psychologist. I can help you cope with your reluctance to transition. Just relax. Let me help.
- @AndersStarmark: You know, for a cis you're pretty attractive. I'd even call you fuckable.
- @MaeveCaitKelly: Wow! You're such a convincing cis person, I just thought you were normal! Well done.
- @sashapixlee: Dude, she looks like she might be cis. Be careful, bro
- @sasugakirin: Just because "grue" is used to hurt you cis people all the time doesn't mean I can't reclaim it.
- @BecciCath: No, Cis Identity Disorder shouldn't be removed from the DSM, I mean, being cis is a lifestyle choice, so u must b mad
- @Dru_Marland: You're cis? -honestly, I'd never have known, you look so good
- @AndersStarmark: If you cis people didn't scare people of we'd have opposite sex marriage a long time ago!
- @Dru_Marland: "Are they real?" (gropes stranger's breasts)
- @AndersStarmark: I think you're taking it a little hard when someone truegenders you. It's just a label, it's nothing serious.
- @LadyJaya: You mean your breasts started growing when you were 12? Can I feel them? They seem so real!
To me this depiction of gender is much more accurate, and allows us to label ourselves anywhere on an infinite spectrum. Instead of putting ourselves on fine lines whilst calling anything off the line abnormal, we can be labeled anything therefor allowing any form of gender expression to be considered normal.
The LA Times has dug in and talked to 89% of Academy members and to no one’s surprise the Academy is old, white and male.
Here are the stats:
- The Academy is 94% white
- The Academy is 77% male.
- The median age is 62.
- Only 14% are under 50 years old.
Also we learned that women make up just 9% of the directing branch and 19% of the screenwriting branch.
This is why we need more women (and people of colour!) controlling and contributing to media.
Filed under shit people of colour and many white women already knew. Every couple of years something like this pops up. It never changes and likely will never change.