I want to add to this that MRAs really aren’t there to help men.
I’m a Big Sister for Big Brothers Big Sisters and we run campaigns nationally every year that specifically target men to sign up to be Bigs. EVERY YEAR. Because the average wait for a girl to be matched to a female Big is 6 weeks after being enrolled. The average time for a boy to be matched with a male Big is 6 months to a year because so few men actually sign up to be mentors and many of them don’t actually complete the one year commitment to their Littles, either.
And this is a deficit that is particularly prevalent at my agency.
Mentoring a kid through a program like BBBS is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done in my life. It has also been the most challenging thing I have ever done in my life. As a Big, I have a direct impact on someone else’s life and little boys, in particular, who do not have a father figure at home benefit very strongly from having a male mentor in their life. They typically do better in school, have a better social life, and are more likely to accomplish long-term goals and take responsibility for their actions and mistakes and learn from them.
If MRAs were ACTUALLY interested in helping men and boys, they would be mentors. But instead they sit on the internet in their Fedoras and bemoan the fact that women aren’t being forced by the government to sleep with them.
(We can argue about whether having MRAs be mentors to impressionable young men is a good idea in a separate post because obviously there are better role models for young men and boys but the point still stands that there are very clear things that MRAs could do to tangibly and immediately help men and boys but instead they focus all of their time and energy denigrating rape victims, berating feminists, and whining about services that specifically serve women.)
So, instead of just hand wringing about how males are targeted and denigrated within all aspects of life, I decided one way of trying to help would be to join the Big Brother Big Sister program. The first meeting I went to explained that there are twice as many boys looking for a match than there are girls. They said it was partly because more females than males volunteer. They didn’t mention how most boys have a mother in there life but no father because of the misandric divorce courts but I digress…
Anyways, as part of the process, I had a one on one interview with a female member of the organisation to assess if I was suitable to be a Big, and if so, they wanted to know about me so they could match me with a little. I mentioned that I carry a firearm everywhere I legally can, I also wanted to know what protections were in place to protect me from unfounded accusations, and I expressed how I couldn’t be with a Little if his father had been forcibly removed from his life because of the vindictive actions of the mother. I think the final one sealed my fate however. I’m not particularly upset at being rejected because after looking into it more, the activities deemed appropriate to do with your Little seem somewhat feminine, but it just further hammers home that even when you try to help because there are boys out there screaming for some positive male role models in there lives, you’re only allowed to show them masculine things that females deem are appropriate. It just makes me sick.
Yeah, because it has nothing to do with the fact that you said you would carry a gun around the kid, or suggested you might be accused of assaulting him and that the organization would need to stand up for you, or that you don’t want to help any children whose mother is divorced. It’s just so amazing how they don’t understand how screwed up they sound to everybody else. This is perfectly reasonable to the guy and the other forum members. -_- Also, he doesn’t sound like he cares about helping boys at all. It’s all about him, his hatred of divorced mothers, his need to carry a gun, his paranoia of “unfounded accusations”, and that the organization should stand up for his ‘rights’ over those of the child. He doesn’t come off as somebody who really cares about the kid he’d be helping, just somebody who wanted to do something to make himself feel good.
It is sad though that we don’t have more men volunteering and trying to help in these programs. :( (Though, not the MRAs, they would be so toxic for the kids.)
I’m fucking blown away. Blown away. Fucking asshole MRAs.
- Societal expectations of masculinity
- Societal expectations to provide for women
- No long term reversible male birth control
- Men who are raped are more likely to remain silent and be dismissed or outright laughed at
- Unfair treatment in child custody battles
- No support for male victims of domestic abuse
Not men’s issues
- The friend zone
- Women not dating you
- “Fucking femnazis”
My favourite part is how this sexist graphic inadvertently illustrates why feminism is a serious and necessary movement and “men’s rights” is a fucking joke.
“MRAs” have the luxury of “calmly explaining their points” because they aren’t actually being oppressed at all. It’s a calm (non-)issue. They’re not being actively hurt. They’re not living in a society that marginalizes and erases them and blames them for the assaults and rapes they suffer. They’re the most privileged, high-paid, pampered class of people on the planet. Being an “MRA” is a hobby; it means nothing - the failure of their “movement” would have no consequences, because they’d still be at the top. They’ve nothing to lose, so there’s no pressure on them.
Feminists, on the other hand? It’s serious. Women are marginalized and are erased and are oppressed and are earning only cents on the dollar and are living in a culture that encourages assault and rape of them and then blames them for it. Feminism isn’t just “making some point,” it’s a real struggle against a system that continually hurts women every single day. Wouldn’t you be a little bit angry too? Wouldn’t you get a little bit frustrated? Wouldn’t that probably explode into fucking rage if you were told that you’re going to be ignored if you’re not “civil” in fighting back against the system that is actively hurting you daily?
To even suggest that feminists need to be “civil” in “explaining their points” is a slap in the face because our entire society has not been civil to women for centuries.
And oh yeah, the supposed “problems” MRAs whine about tend to exclusively be products of the fucking patriarchy they support anyway.
GO FUCK YOURSELVES, MRAS.
Language aside …
… this, pretty much.
Misandry is the distress of the privileged. Misogyny is the distress of the downtrodden.
I love you.
I want to bold my favorite bits of glamguitarist's comment but I'd end up bolding the whole thing.
(The Daily Dot) - Last week, Facebook defied all expectations and announced a groundbreaking new policy change in its stance regarding gender-based hate speech. The move promises an overhaul of current community guidelines and increased training for Facebook staff, but it comes only after a campaign to alert advertisers and the media to the prevalence of violent images and themes on Facebook, which often skate through censors because they appear on “humor” pages.
But not everyone is happy about the change—particularly men’s rights activists (MRAs), who claim that Facebook is giving in to a feminist threat. At MRA hub A Voice for Men (AVFM), founder Paul Elam declared that the changes were part of a sweeping feminist agenda to “ensure that their narrative is the only one allowed.”
The “narrative” in question refers to Women, Action, and the Media’s request that Facebook stop protecting “humorous” Facebook communities that actively promote violence against women.
Like this one:
Why? Because MRA websites, including A Voice for Men, have often featured images of bruised and bloodied abuse victims, often with a jokey (or not-so-jokey) caption implying that the women deserve it. The post “If You See Jezebel in the Road, Run That Bitch Down,” for example, originally ran with an image of a woman with a black eye (trigger warning: domestic abuse) and the caption “Maybe she DID have it coming.”
The MRAs are trying to make this about “free speech” what they don’t understand is that free speech only protects you from the government.
Free speech does not equal social entitlement.
I need masculism because Saruman (Christopher Lee) read out this MRAnt dramatically to make fun of them
SORRY TO REBLOG STRAIGHT AWAY BUT GUYS???
SARUMAN READ OUT THIS MESSAGE AND ITS THE FUNNIEST THING HOLY SHIT?!?
you’d think by his age christopher lee would have stopped getting progressively cooler all the time
WHERE IS THIS FROM IS IT NOT AN IMPRESSION I JUST
GUYS GUYS OMG CALM DOWN
This is reddit user CressCrowbits doing a Saruman impression!
THIS IS REDDIT USER CRESSCROWBITS DOING A SARUMAN IMPRESSION
i knew it was too good to be true
but it’s still beautiful
>Marriage laws are in your favor
>Custody laws too, 80% of children go to their mother
>Seen by society as more important than any man as seen by headlines “23 people killed 7 of those women and children”
>Spared the death sentence in America simply because you’re female
>Have sex with an underage boy in his teens, not seen as statutory rape, blame the boy
>Instantly appreciated by people, men are constantly nice to you
>Dating game is 100% in your favor
>Can marry a man that’s higher in status simply because you’re decent looking
>Slap a man, don’t expect to be hit back because your whiteknights will easily defend you
>Abort of child without the mans consent, you’re pro-choice, a man wants you to get an abortion he’s seen as a disgusting person
>Can get free drinks from beta men on a night out easily
Yeah, being a woman is hard…. idiots
(binary language ahead for the sake of this argument, sorry)
I’m pretty sure being thought of as less capable and weak is not equality. And just because some things are ‘easy’ (when you put them in the exaggerated terms that you did) does not make them what we want.
- I’m guessing by ‘marriage laws are in your favor’ you’re speaking about divorce and lawsuits that follow being in the favor of the wife? This is because the woman is seen as needing more help supporting herself without her partner.
- Custody laws? Because women are seen as more nurturing and as care takers. Who is really going to argue that the child shouldn’t go to the more capable parent?
- “more important”, headlines like that are used for shock value, and it’s usually ‘women and children’, women are placed on the same level as children as far as helplessness in situations like this.
- As for the death sentence, while I don’t agree with it at all, women rarely receive the death penalty because they are seen as pitiable, helpless, etc. What we can talk about is how racist the justice system is and how many black people are given the death penalty and white people with the same offenses are not. Do you want to talk about how white people have it good? I’m more interested in that discussion.
- Most of these cases of statutory rape the woman is charged. When they aren’t can you not see how this again goes back to women being pitiable, sexualized and not seen as a ‘threat’/weak.
- I haven’t experienced this ‘instantly nice to you’ phenomenon I’ve received plenty of harassment and requests to ‘smile’ ‘let me see your hair/face’, being called ‘darling’, ‘sweetie’ or other annoying pet names by strangers. So I think you’re confusing people genuinely being nice to me for people trying to get something from me or pretending to be nice for whatever reason.
- Dating game full of men who think they’ve been ‘friend zoned’ because they never got the sex/date they felt so entitled to, the many sexual insults (slut, whore, etc) from dating ‘too many’ people, etc. I don’t know how exactly you decide what is ‘in your favor’ as far as dating goes. I’ve had more failures than successes, I will tell you that much. I’ve heard plenty of men describe exes as ‘psycho’, sluts, etc.
- A man marrying a woman of ‘lower status’ because she is ‘decent looking’ seems to be a problem with the man’s value on a woman’s looks and body before anything else.
- No one should be hitting anyone, but again this comes back to women being seen as weak, defenseless, pitiable…
- Sorry, who is the pregnant one?
- FREE DRINKS ! Sexism is over!! (free drinks goes back to entitlement to sex/a person’s looks)
That’s really why it’s “easy to be a woman” to you? Sorry for you.
re: the custody thing, I can’t find it at the moment, but wasn’t there that article going round about men who SEEK custody get it? There’s no point saying 80% of mothers get custody when you ignore the stats about how many men actually WANT custody to their child. Also, I doubt that every woman in that 80% necessarily wants to have full custody; it is a sexist standard that the woman gets it by default. We didn’t ask for it to be this way, MRAs. Blame the patriarchy.
fuckyeahchoice has already covered all of these poor points really well. I’m really trying to understand why the OP feels like their points somehow prove the oppression of men, or that these things are the fault of oppressive female standards. The fact that things like “dating is easier/ free drinks / marrying a high status man coz you’re pretty” as actual serious examples of female privilege or male oppression or whatever you call it, is just laughable and embarrassing.
from About Male Privilege
that sums up my beef with MRA’s perfectly. if you want to create safe spaces for men who are victims of abuse, that’s perfectly fine. if you want to campaign for awareness of sexual/domestic violence against men, that’s fine, too.
but stop talking over women to do it
- Man: I had my heart broken once by a girl who friendzoned me, so now I hate women. It's not my fault, they're just cold-hearted and stupid.
- Mens Rights Activists: I don't see a problem with this.
- Woman: I say I hate men because I've been physically/sexually abused, harassed on the street, made to feel inferior or have experienced domestic violence, and have had the weight of an entire social system of oppression forced on me since birth.
- Mens Rights Activist: You're a fucking sexist! Not all men are like that! Why do you hate equality? You're a bad person! Get back in the kitchen! Fucking women.
Thanks to Mens Rights Activists we now have safe men’s spaces, a more acceptable, inoffensive and less nebulous term used to describe what was previously referred to as “public”
sometimes i forget that our jokes about this kind of thing are not an exaggeration at all
this sounds like the asshole from my history seminar
Tell me this is not a real person.
(tw for mention of rape, general misogyny)
These are responses to an article about a campaign to prevent rape and sexual harassment on college campuses.
I feel like there’s a need to break stuff down, not for these douchebags, but more like a rant for my own future reference.
“Y U TALKING ABOUT PREVENTING RAPE, PREVENTING FALSE RAPE ACCUSATIONS IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT AND WOMEN GET FREE DRINKS AT BARS AND CAN FUCK ANYONE AND NEVER GET FRIENDZONED AND MEN ARE RAPED TOO AND I WANT MY MOMMY”
no, Mike Hunter, alleged rapists are not zealously prosecuted by law enforcement. Actually the scenario looks a bit more like this:
And here’s the thing about the “False rape accusations” that you care about so much (and why wouldn’t you, it’s the only part of this lame feminist bullshit that applies directly to you). Do you know what’s the feminist stance on false rape accusations? Do you know what is the women’s stance on false rape accusations? We fucking hate them.
Yeah, we hate them. Because being falsely accused of raping someone, like false accusations of stealing, murdering or molesting, can destroy a person’s reputation. And they are usually done with the purpose of destroying someone’s reputation and/or get money. And also, false accusations of rape are one of the things that make it so much harder for women who were actually raped to get justice, and more importantly, to put these rapists in jail, where they can’t rape any more innocent people.
Meanwhile, a lot of people get the death penalty for things that they didn’t do, and I don’t see you getting all worked up about that.
What’s wrong with the process of accusing people of rape, rape trials and whatnot is how they’re conducted. When a woman is raped, they ask what she was wearing, how she was dancing, if she was drinking. The victim is attacked as much as the alleged rapist is, some times even more. And the victim is also attacked by her peers, whom many times are quick to judge her as an attention seeking whore. Mix that with the rape and post traumatic disorder and you have a real life ruiner right there.
What people judge in rape trials: If the woman actually wanted to have sex and is just a lying slut - usually confirmed by the fact that she has many sexual partners, drinks, has fun, dresses provocatively.
What people should be judging in rape trials: The rapist’s past sexual conduct, and general attitude towards women. Showing signs of misogyny, past accusations, past relationships, his character. And the victim’s past in LYING.
Because if a woman had many sexual partners before accusing this man of raping her, this should not make her case weaker. If anything, it should make her case stronger, because duh, look at how many men she had consensual sex with, and never tried accusing them of anything.
Another interesting point that clueless people usually add to conversations, is the fact that women get free drinks in bars, often get in for free in places that charge entrance for men, and, as a friend dearly pointed out to me: “If you stand up at this bar right now and say - who wants to fuck me? - i bet at least 10 guys would raise their hands”.
But here’s the thing. From a privileged white male perspective, getting free drinks and being able to have sex whenever you want are just the cherry on the top of your beautiful cake. It would be literally the last thing you’ll need to make your life perfect. And to women, it makes for a shitty consolation prize for being born and raised as a second class citizen, and it actually increases her chances of getting sexually assaulted or raped. Oh and by the way, the “free drinks” and “10 men raising hands” only count for women who are considered suitably fuckable by strange men and bartenders. You may guess that this is not exactly a fair game for women who don’t resemble the current beauty standard.
And men are raped, too. And their rapes are even less reported, because men feel so much shame in admitting that they suffered this, when they’re supposed to be raised to be strong and invincible. And the fact that men don’t get the same paternity leave as a mother does is unfair. And the fact that children almost automatically are in custody of the mother in cases of divorce is also unfair as fuck. Guess what’s the cause of all of these 3 things being an issue? Your dear patriarchy. The same one that grants you the respect and rights that are denied to women. Because that’s what defines gender roles that make men so afraid to report their rapes and sexual assaults. That’s what defines that the moms are the ones who should care for children and kick you out of your child’s life.
So guess what? We’re on the same side. And if you could only stop whining, you’d realize that.
a haiku to help you better understand the male rights activist in your life
he types with his dick
cuz his fingers are busy
wiping away tears
mens rights activism is sort of like a child making a mess in his own room while he is looking for a baseball bat to destroy his sisters room with
after he is finished destroying her room he returns to his own room only to notice the mess he made for himself when he went to fuck his sisters room up
and when his sister comes home telling him to fix the mess he made in her room he denies he did anything, calls her a bitch and insists this was her own doing, demands she fix his room before he fixes hers and ultimately ends up storming out of the house in disbelief when she gives up on arguing and starts cleaning her own room rather than his