"How the Media Failed Women in 2013," courtesy of Miss Representation. This is mind-boggling and you must watch it right now.
Always see “real women” posts so here’s one for the dudes.
this says so much. I wish there were more posts like this. please.
body positivity and realistic body standards are important for guys too!
Men are constantly reassured that it’s okay to oogle women and harrass them about their looks. Women rarely see sexualized images of men that are made for women.
Guys get eye candy everywhere they go. Their sexual gaze is constantly catered to. Women* are rarely given the opportunity to have their sexual interest entertained. We’re told that we should be okay with having nothing to look at. That our fantasies don’t matter. That we shouldn’t ever even remotely expect to be able to eyeball a svelte man in public, only behind closed doors and heaven forbid that the man look vulnerable. So we finally get to see images that turn us on and people are like, “Hey, you can’t put that in magazines! that might hurt some little boy’s feelings!”
Men are given alternative physical images to aspire to. Women are not.
While yes, guys should be treated to body positivity too… they already are. Just watch TV or any comedy and count the number of pudgy, out of shape, male leads vs pudgy, out of shape female leads. Or the number of hairy, overweight, older men making block buster movies vs the number of hairy, overweight, older women. Now count how many times that male character has some incredibly smart, sexy wife who does everything for him. And then how many times she’s the butt of the joke when he gets hot for some woman who’s younger and thinner than she is.
Fuck, just look at the responses to women not shaving their legs vs the responses to guys not shaving off their stubble.
Name six movies about a woman above the age of forty who’s love interest is a man that’s younger than she is where the plot doesn’t revolve around her being the butt of a cougar or mom joke. Now name me six where a man over the age of forty’s love interest is a woman who’s significantly younger than he is. Bonus points for action movies where anyone in the movie makes a mention of the age difference.
How many times are male politician or CEO’s body or style of dress put into question? How many times are female’s? Or has everyone forgotten how we flip out when the president’s wife gets a new hair cut? Or how Hillary Clinton had to have a FUCKING MAKE OVER before the news agencies took her seriously? How many times was her daughter raked over the coals for looking like an average teenager?
What’s more, I’ve never heard any of my female friends or my mother and her female friends saying, “Why can’t my 50 year old husband get a six pack like that?” What I USUALLY here is “I wish my husband would get a nice hair cut.” or “I wish he’d wear some nicer clothes that actually fit him.”
But what i hear overhear men saying all time is, “No fat chicks!” or “I wish my wife had bigger boobs.”
I know a woman who’s husband threatened to leave her if she didn’t get a face lift and a boob job- she was so upset that she did it. She felt disgusting every day because she wasn’t a size six and he expected her to be a size six after bearing him four kids. My own uncle said if his wife got overweight that he’d drag her behind a car until she lost weight. These aren’t even “bad guys”! They seem like perfectly nice men when you meet them! But they’re taught from the moment they’re kids that all women need to be a certain body type to be worthy of any attention.
Men are told through our culture’s stories and media that a woman will still love them unconditionally and throw themselves at them if they’re fat, old, balding, or an asshole, while women are told that if they’re pushy, fat, old or wearing out of style clothes that they aren’t even worth mentioning.
*While I’m bisexual, but I’m not a lesbian so I can’t speak for what a lesbian finds attractive anymore than I can say what a gay man might find attractive. I’m talking about the female gaze toward men in general. We each have our individual tastes tho.
Say you’re walking down the sidewalk on a beautiful day. Someone who has internalized an outsider’s perspective of herself will often spend more time adjusting her clothing or hair, wondering what other people are thinking of her, judging the shape of her shadow or reflection in a window, etc. She will picture herself walking – she literally turns herself into an object of vision – instead of enjoying the sunny weather….
… Women are constantly being looked at. Even when we’re not, we’re so hyperaware of the possibility of being looked at that it can rule even our most private lives. Including in front of our mirrors, alone."
Good Gawd, THIS.
I’m working to re-define my thinking about myself and walk in the glorious space of not being an object for other people’s visual consumption and the freedom it brings.
And reminding people of that fact when they feel compelled to comment.
"Judging the shape of her shadow" Yep. Yep yep yep yep.
there are legitimately men out there who think that by saying “don’t objectify women” we are saying “you are not allowed to find women attractive”
these guys actually cannot see a difference
“Lawrence Croft” in fuller glory than the original post
"Women are presented too often not as consumers of the product, but part of the product – a sexy body sexily getting ready to surf, or a sexy body sexily wearing American Apparel. We’re used to seeing women look sexy and undressed in ads, while men in ads tend to just wear the clothes properly while also looking handsome in the face area." Caitlin Welsh
I’m not looking to get into a big argument about this but generally speaking the female body is a much more beautiful thing to see. Like just at base level it’s much more…artsy? I don’t know, I probably just sparked a crusade or something but I’m not trying to say women aren’t over sexualized but have we ever considered taking it from the perspective of appreciating how amazing the female body is?
^ ha ha ha ha ha. Let’s all point and laugh at this person.
Is this circulating because if it’s not it needs to be, this armor is totally practical.
Bringing it back the totally suitable lace dick sheet armor
So can he be on my team?
I’m a cleric so I’m good backup I swear…
Who do I have to pay to get this armor design into a game?
Now this is the sort of sexism and objectification I could shove money at.
Hunter, Steph, all your demon characters now wear this.
I AM SEVERELY UNCOMFORTABLE
WHICH, I SUPPOSE, IS PROBABLY THE POINT, FOR A MALE VIEWER
GOOD JOB, ARTIST.
EQUALITY FOR SKIMPY ARMOURS YESSSSSSSSSS
Dainty penis napkin
I absolutely lost it at ‘Dainty penis napkin’ OMFG! ^5 Highest of high-fives to you, lascocks! Also, this is a delightfully witty and well done answer to the female ‘chainmail bikini’ style of armor. Love it. I would so hire him to fight in my campaign, srsly. Total kudos to Silencio-gga.blogspot.com on this.
Oh look, it’s the guy with the Schlong Veil again. Wasn’t he just here? :))))))
- (Heavy trigger warning: explicit, graphic descriptions of rape, battery and objectification).
- Corina Taylor: "When I arrived to the set I expected to do a vaginal girl boy scene. But during the scene with a male porn star, he forced himself anally into me and would not stop. I yelled at him to stop and screamed 'No' over and over but he would not stop. The pain became too much and I was in shock and my body went limp."
- Jenna Jameson: "Most girls get their first experience in gonzo films – in which they’re taken to a crappy studio apartment in Mission Hills and penetrated in every hole possible by some abusive asshole who thinks her name is Bitch."
- Alexa James: "The first shoot I did was with a man who was probably 40 and he was as thick as a soda can. He held me down and shoved it in me with no lube tearing my vagina. When I started to tear up and cry he flipped me over and continued from behind be so they wouldn't get me crying on film. He pulled my hair and choked me over and over again even when I told him it hurt and I could barely breathe."
- Linda Lovelace: "My initiation into prostitution was a gang rape by five men, arranged by Mr. Traynor. It was the turning point in my life. He threatened to shoot me with the pistol if I didn't go through with it. I had never experienced anal sex before and it ripped me apart. They treated me like an inflatable plastic doll, picking me up and moving me here and there. They spread my legs this way and that, shoving their things at me and into me, they were playing musical chairs with parts of my body. I have never been so frightened and disgraced and humiliated in my life. I felt like garbage. I engaged in sex acts for pornography against my will to avoid being killed.The lives of my family were threatened."
- Andi Anderson: "After a year or so of that so-called “glamorous” life, I sadly discovered that drugs and drinking were a part of the lifestyle. I began to drink and party out of control! Cocaine, alcohol and ecstasy were my favorites. Before long, I turned into a person I did not want to be. After doing so many hardcore scenes I couldn’t do it anymore. I just remember being in horrible situations and experiencing extreme depression and being alone and sad."
- Alexa Milano: "My first movie I was treated very rough by 3 guys. They pounded on me, gagged me with their penises, and tossed me around like I was a ball! I was sore, hurting and could barely walk. My insides burned and hurt so badly. I could barely pee and to try to have a bowel movement was out of the question. I was hurting so bad from the physical abuse from these 3 male porn stars."
- Jessie Jewels: "People in the porn industry are numb to real life and are like zombies walking around. The abuse that goes on in this industry is completely ridiculous. The way these young ladies are treated is totally sick and brainwashing. I left due to the trauma I experienced even though I was there only a short time."
- Genevieve: "I had bodily fluids all over my face that had to stay on my face for ten minutes. The abuse and degradation was rough. I sweated and was in deep pain. On top of the horrifying experience, my whole body ached, and I was irritable the whole day. The director didn't really care how I felt; he only wanted to finish the video."
- Jersey Jaxin: "Guys punching you in the face. You have semen from many guys all over your face, in your eyes. You get ripped. Your insides can come out of you. It's never ending."
- Elizabeth Rollings: "I didn’t want to feel the pain of penetration from an over average sized man, being told to freeze in a position until the camera man was happy with his shots was very painful. I had peoples body fluids forced on my face or anywhere else the producer pleased and I had to accept it or else no pay. Sometimes you would get to a gig and the producer would change what the scene was supposed to be to something more intense and again if you didn’t like it, too bad, you did it or no pay."
- Lucky Starr: "I was worried about my first anal scene for quite a few days ... then the big moment arrived. It REALLY hurt! I almost quit and said, "I can’t do this". When it was all over, I was so happy and relieved I was able to do it..."
- Ashlyn Brooke: "I honestly felt that if I had to have another strange man in my face, his hands (God knows where they've been all over me) him calling me his baby and having to exude some sort of forged passion for the world to see, I probably would have exploded. And what would have been stuck to the walls would have probably been nothing, just pieces of skin, bone, the brain of a robot, and what would have been left of what would have existed once as a huge and warm heart."
- Roxy: "After only 30 movies I caught two sexually transmitted diseases. Herpes, a non-curable disease and HPV, which led to cervical cancer where I had to have half of my cervix removed. Porn destroyed my life."
- Anita Cannibal: "Yeah, there are a lot of cover-ups going on. There is a lot of tragedy. There are a lot of horrible things."
- Tamra Toryn: "As for myself, I ended up paying the price from working in the porn industry. In 2006, not even 9 months in, I caught a moderate form of dysplasia of the cervix (which is a form of HPV, a sexually transmitted disease) and later that day, I also found out I was pregnant. I had only 1 choice which was to abort the baby during my first month. It was extremely painful emotionally and physically. When it was all over, I cried my eyes out."
- Jessi Summers: "I also did a scene where I was put with male talent that was on my no list. I wanted to please them so I did it. He put his foot on my head and stepped on it while he was doing me from behind. I freaked out and started balling; they stopped filming and sent me home with reduced pay since they got some shot but not the whole scene."
- [https: //www.shelleylubben.com/pornstars]
As a stripper, I am faced with this question daily. If not online, then by my peers. If not by my peers, then by the judgemental partners of some of the other girls I dance with. If not by their partners, then by customers themselves! Someone, somewhere, is always going to be asking me (and any other sex worker, I am sure) this question.
In person, I do not give them the time of day; my time is money and unless you are paying, I am not explaining SHIT about my life to you. Period. However, since I have been neglecting this blog for a while now, what better way to ease back into it than to write a few short responses to this particular question. I’m sure all of you sex workers can relate.
- Unfortunately, as women, we are ALL objectified in our workplace. Whether we work at Bras n’ Things, or as a computer technician, in a hair salon or in a strip club, we are ALWAYS going to be objectified by men when we are at work. It started in school when they told us to wear longer skirts so as not to distract the boys, and it will continue until we reach menopause and are no longer deemed to have sexual value.
- The difference, then, between an office worker being sexually objectified at her workplace, and me, a stripper, being objectified every night as part of my job description, is consent.
- When I am at work, I am well aware that I am stepping into an environment in which I use the fact that I am highly attractive and charismatic for monetary gain. Objectification is not a distraction from my job, it is the entire point of it. Just as a woman would consent to sexual intercourse in bed with her partner, I am consenting to being seen as an object, if you will, on the stage and in the lap room.
- Women who work in offices/retail stores/restaurants/courtrooms do not have this power, as they have not consented to being objectified. Their objectification is a distraction from their work and it has nothing to do with their work, and therefore it is not okay.
- In my workplace, I have all of the power. If I do not like something that a man says or does to me, I can get him kicked out straight away. If he is not tipping me, I am literally allowed to tell him to get the fuck off my tipping seats. If he says something that disrespects me, I can go up to my favourite bouncer and get him politely asked to leave; if he tries to touch me during a private dance, I can scream for the same bouncer and get him thrown face first down the stairs.
- Some adorable men think they’re in control at the strip club, but they are not, have never been, and will never be. At least in clubs that are run right.
So, how can I be a feminist and a stripper?
Because feminism is about CHOICE. I choose to be objectified at work. It makes me laugh - I do next to no work for hundreds and hundreds of dollars a night; I make men putty under my fingertips; I do not respect most men because they have given me no reason to respect them, so I will take the last fifty out of their wallets and leave them with no cab fare home if I have to. Why? Because that same man, I can guarantee you, would cat-call me in the street if he saw me, and since that is NOT a place where I consent to objectification, I may as well make the most of it whilst I’m at work.
- TW: Partial Nudity, Explicit Lyrics, Sexual Content
Seattle boylesque troupe Mod Carousel created their own version of Robin Thicke’s controversial (and catchy) single “Blurred Lines”—they changed the lyrics, rerecorded the vocals, and restaged the video with all of the genders swapped. The result is pretty amazing. And I love their explanation of the philosophy behind the project:
It’s our opinion that most attempts to show female objectification in the media by swapping the genders serve more to ridicule the male body than to highlight the extent to which women get objectified and does everyone a disservice. We made this video specifically to show a spectrum of sexuality as well as present both women and men in a positive light, one where objectifying men is more than alright and where women can be strong and sexy without negative repercussions.
Not only is virtually every person in this video very attractive, but it serves as a very important social commentary especially when one considers the extremely questionable intent behind the original song & video.
Saw this post and wanted to give it a try to fix them :)
My favorite is the one in the middle!
So, yeah, that first image is from a European Sony ad and I don’t know about you BUT IT CREEPS ME OUT. Ignoring the skeevy implications (woman’s body is a plaything for men, etc) it’s also just CREEPY AS HELL. Like “this is actually the new Silent Hill design” creepy.
So I decided to make it SUPER RIDICULOUS. If more boobs = OMG SEXIER OBVIOUSLY, then mine must be HELEN OF TROY LEVELS OF THE PERFECT WOMAN, RIGHT?! Line up, fellas!
I also decided to fix that stupid knees-in stance.
I love this design of her!