yellow dress

I am Chloe, and I am a bunch of words.
I am an intersectional feminist, a secular humanist, an atheist, pro-choice, left-wing, sex+, a mental health and disabilities advocate, a skeptic and a freethinker.
I am a black belt, an artist, a gamer, a tea-drinker and a cat-lover.
I love yellow, the Simpsons, Harry Potter, manga/anime, kinkiness, P!nk, costumes, quotes and gaming.
I also run a tumblr solely for funny stuff, steampunkbanana (linked below).

"[TW: Rape] What kind of world do we live in when young men are so proud of violating unconscious girls that they pass proof around to their friends? It’s the same kind of world in which being labeled a slut comes with such torturous social repercussions that suicide is preferable to enduring them. As a woman named Sara Erdmann so aptly tweeted to me, “I will never understand why it is more shameful to be raped than to be a rapist."

— Jessica Valenti, In Rape Tragedies, the Shame Is Ours (via rhrealitycheck)

(Source: thenation.com)

"The bottom line is that there’s nothing you can wear that will guarantee respect from others. And the reason is that the root of this problem isn’t skin or clothing, it’s our cultural contempt for women and girls. Have you noticed the way this works yet? If a girl is thin, she’s accused of being “anorexic”; if her weight is higher than the cruelly restrictive ideal, she’s “fat” and “doesn’t take care of herself” or “has no self-control.” If she wears cute, trendy clothes she “only wants attention” and if she wears sweats and jeans, she “doesn’t make an effort.” If she’s perceived as sexually attractive, and — especially — if she shows her own sexual side, she’s likely to be called a “slut.” If her sexuality and her body are concealed, she’s a “prude.” As you’ve probably figured out, the cards are stacked against you. You cannot win, at least not if you define winning as dressing and behaving in a way likely to win approval (or at least decent respect) from everyone."

— Hugo Schwyzer (via dinnerwithannawintour)

(Source: hugoschwyzer.net)

"The thing about slut-shaming that I don’t think many men understand is how it isn’t just about women having the right to wear whatever they want. It is about wanting to have our humanity, our respect. Do you know how it is to have people that you love, your family, your friends, even the people that you are fucking, tell you they think you’re less because of your promiscuity or your sexual expression, perceived or real? Do you know how it is to not be able to engage in healthy physical or romantic relationships having been so crippled by the fear and the anxiety of your worth, your entire being, being reduced to how many people you’ve been with sexually? Slut shaming means you are not allowed to define you, but others, people you don’t know, your old partners, your future partners, your family, your friends, those who you trusted enough to be close to you, are."

— Briana Ureña-Ravelo

"If you choose not to participate in the trend of wearing risqué costumes, more power to you. However, I think it’s dangerous to develop a superior attitude toward other women who want to show some skin. In other words, do your thing, but respect other women who feel confident about their bodies. I recall on a Halloween a few years ago when a woman screamed “sluts!” out a car window as she drove past a group of scantily clad women. For the guys who witnessed that incident, it may have reinforced the acceptability of using those terms. If other women wearing those types of costumes really bothers you, it may be time to examine exactly why it gets on your nerves. Imagine if women complimented each other when they saw each other out in skimpy costumes, and defended each other against sexist, slut-shaming remarks? It would certainly make my Halloween a lot better if women viewed each other in solidarity."

— Trick-or-Treat? The Problem With Halloween (via the-abcs-of-life)

(Source: stfusexists)

I really hate the term slut shaming.

alimarko:

polaroidpixels:

it’s so stupid. like, feminism is supposed to be about getting girls to stop calling eachother sluts and junk so it doesnt give guys the power to use it, but then if somebody points out that a girl is dressed particularly…let say provacative, everybody jumps down that girls throat as slut shaming. its called an opinion. if you want to dress like an airport prostitute or kesha or marilyn monroe for that matter, fine go ahead. it’s your prerogative! free speech! but with that choice comes the fact that the people around you can have and voice their own opinions just as freely. I cant stand the extremes. I’m a girl, a woman, I know my rights, my privileges, whatever. I vote when I want my voice heard. this is tumblr, lets all relax.

(tw: rape)

Nope. Not gonna relax while a woman’s choice to wear less clothing means that society devalues her and says that it’s more okay to rape her.

Not okay with virginity or “modesty” determining a woman’s value.

Not okay with you shaming sex workers.

Not okay with you thinking it’s okay to comment on what women do with their bodies as though they are public property.

It’s not okay, and if you’re using “relax” to mean “calm down and stop caring so much about sexism and rape culture” then

NOPE. Nope nope nope.

[TRIGGER WARNING]

w1nter-is-c0ming:

zhenotdel:

To highlight the effect of verbal abuse which can sometimes be as/more damaging than physical abuse. It causes the victims, mostly women, to suffer from life-long psycho-emotional scars in the forms of diminished confidence and debilitatingly low self-worth, making them lose control over their own lives.

In this admittedly odd campaign with Y&R, Dubai, United Arab Emirates, Shahir Zag, Kalpesh Patankar, took sound waves created by terrible derogatory words, Slut, Bitch and Whore and turned them into wounds on the abuse victims. Attempting to tell a compelling story by making the devastating scars visible.

Shots by photographer James Day

finally, an awareness post not accusing us of being “heartless” if we don’t reblog.

Male Privilege #14

Nobody tries to take away your right to use a condom. Nobody hammers into your head that you should feel guilty and shameful about preventing your gift-from-God sperm from fertilizing an egg and thus ensuring the birth of a beautiful child. No politician tells you using condoms makes you a slut. Nobody bombs a convenience store that sells condoms, threatens people who put condom vending machines in areas, or attacks politicians who support condom use.

(Source: all-about-male-privilege)

fuckyeahsexeducation:

sociallyawkwardriot:

feministhope:

feministische:

everyone look.

This never even made sense to me. How would only having one partner be different from having sex with multiple partners if you were having sex the same number of times? Oh right, because of slut shaming.

even like having sex with guys of different girths and lengths?

yup! That’s why a lot of people who have sex with people with larger penises have issues because their vaginas go right back to really tight after about a day so they have to be stretched profusely every time before sex.

I am so glad I saw this post, coz the thought crossed my mind the other day. Disgusting double standards, consider that thing that everyone says, “I would punch you in the vagina but I don’t want to lose my hand” or something fucked up like that. There are never ever implications that a guy’s dick is affected from sleeping with multiple partners. ARGH how is it that I am only finding out NOW that the myth isn’t true? How fucked up is that?

CHALLENGE EVERYONE WHO SPREADS THIS MINDSET. END SLUT-SHAMING.

A girl I met at uni posted this on facebook.

And I can’t quite put my finger on why it bothers me so much. There’s definitely some slut-shaming going on here. Implications that a girl who has sex with many people is someone of less worth, cheaper, scum.

Ugh.

I have a friend who is just lovely, and so beautiful, and she inevitably attracts a lot of guys’ attention. Her mum suggested she date one of them so maybe the rest would back off a bit (because hey, sometimes it’s actually not that fun to be like a sexual competition or prize) so she did, but it didn’t deter the other guys at all. So according to this, she is cheap.

Fuck this picture. I am comfortable enough in my own monogamous relationship to not shame others who decide not to be.

mixitupandmassappealit:

lacigreen:

sexreeducated:

Let’s see how many things are wrong with this shall we?

Shaming girls for flirting

Shaming people for having sex

Shaming sex workers for their profession

Shaming men for having sex

Shaming a woman for being confident sexually

Assuming that a double standard does not exist

Children doling out sexual advice that way too many people buy into

Teens and young adults being forced to assume that the social norm is that they should not want sex but ALSO should not want to ‘just flirt’

Claiming that sex with two consensual nonpaying people is tantamount to the ‘shameful’ act of prostitution

Claiming that flirting and being sexually attracted to multiple people is tantamount to prostitution

Implying that even if you DON’T have sex you will still be viewed as a shameful prostitute.

Did I miss anything?

He really does need to shut the fuck up.

(Source: ravishinglies)

paraleagle:

Love and Other Human Rights: I hate the “lock/key” metaphor.

nosyajcarter:

This has been going around Facebook:

And it’s pissing me off. But what bothers me moreso than the scumbaggy college boys sharing it is the surprising amount of females who agree (and thereby, condone it). I’m not a feminist per se, but I’m not a fan of the objectification…

This is so fucking stupid.

First of all how is the top photo relevant at all to the first? I guess this bro didn’t think Uma Thurman was naked enough so he went with a still of an actress who plays a porn star in a different movie. Sexism immediately showing.

Second, a guy who sleeps around is a “master” but a chick can’t because then her lock is “useless”. Wow guy, so you get to fuck however many chicks you want to with disregard, thereby rendering them “useless” objects as often as you want. Really?

If you think like this, find the nearest sharp corner and run yourself into it.

Also to OP, why aren’t you a feminist if you think all people should be treated equally? Why is calling yourself a feminist a bad thing? Own it.

ethereal-algorhythm:

liljewgirl:

elegantbastard:

A woman’s body is a beautiful work of art, & it is her choice & her choice alone how much skin she wishes to show. Dehumanizing a woman & labeling her a “slut” or “whore” with no morals based on that choice is not a negative reflection on her, but on the bigot who is judging her.

Credit
Credit

I will reblog this forever….couldn’t agree with anything more.

(via imgTumble)

(Source: xporcelaindoll)

(Source: misogynistshaming)

Being “Friendzoned”

damegreywulf:

mouthrot:

“WHY DO I ALWAYS GET FRIENDZONED? SHE ALWAYS PICKS THE ASSHOLE OVER ME. I’M A NICE GUY.”

“I LISTEN TO HER WHEN SHE HAVE PROBLEMS; MY SHOULDER IS THERE FOR HER TO CRY ON WHEN SHE’S DUMPED OR CHEATED ON; I’M ALWAYS THERE FOR HER WHEN SHE NEEDS SOMEONE THE MOST! WHY WON’T SHE LOVE ME?”

“WOMEN WHO DON’T WANT TO DATE THEIR GUY FRIEND IS JUST A SLUT AND A DAMN TEASE!”

And on and on.

Dear Men,
How fucking dare you IMPLY that women are not allowed to have male friends, especially if she’s already taken.

How fucking dare you IMPLY that woman are not allowed to have male friends, especially if YOU want to date her but she doesn’t feel the same way.

Who the FUCK are you to bitch and whine about how your female friend is a slut because she DARED exercise her freedom to REJECT your advancements; to REJECT your proposal to sex; to REJECT your proposal to a romantic relationship?

The THREE Situations of Being Friendzoned:
1.
- You have a female friend.
- You have been friends with her for ten years.
- Your female friend has been in a long-term relationship.
- The long-term relationship has always been rocky.
- Your female friend has always gone to you for comfort.
- You feel your female friend deserves better.
- You ask your female friend to abandon her long-term relationship for you.
- She says that she loves you as a friend and only as a friend.
- You bitch and moan and tell her how ungrateful she is.

Congratulations. You’re a selfish, self-centered prick. You have just proven to her why she only loves you as a friend.

2.
- You have a female friend.
- You have been friends with her for ten years.
- In those ten years, you have stuck by her through her numerous, failed relationships.
- You feel she deserves better.
- You ask your female friend to be with you.
- She tells you that she loves you, but only as a friend.
- You bitch and moan and tell her how ungrateful she is.

Congratulations. You’re a selfish, self-centered prick. You have just proven to her why she only loves you as a friend.

3.
- You have a female friend.
- You have been friends with her for ten years.
- You know she only loves you as a friend.
- You continue to stick around, watching her date “asshole” after “asshole”.
- You take advantage of her after every breakup, when she’s emotionally vulnerable, pushing and demanding that she tell you why she won’t date you.
- She keeps telling you that she loves you as a friend; that she doesn’t want to ruin what the two of you already have; she’s just not interested in you in that sort of way.
- You bitch and moan and tell her how ungrateful she is; you call her a slut and a tease.

Congratulations. You’re a selfish, self-centered prick. You have just proven to her why she only loves you as a friend.

Let me fucking tell you something: When your female friend, or ANY woman for that matter, tells you NO, then take the fucking hint. Do not act like a little child who didn’t get his toy train for Christmas. The both of you came together as friends and for the longest time, she believed there was a mutual understanding. You suddenly wanting something more then getting upset with HER when she doesn’t want to the same as you makes you SELFISH and immature.

A woman is not a “tease” or a “whore” because she prefers male friends over female friends; she is not “leading you on” all because she doesn’t want to comply with YOUR wishes of wanting her to be with you; she is not a “heartless/shallow bitch” because she’s not sexually/romantically interested in you or your type but still sees you as a loyal and dependable friend.

The only one who is a bitch in any of this is YOU. Instead of respecting her wishes and either keeping the friendship or moving on, you treat her like shit because, what? YOU DIDN’T GET YOUR WAY? Because you FEEL like she somehow OWES you for the years you were her friend?

You don’t call the shots in ANYTHING that concerns a woman, much less who she should and should not be interested in. Get the fuck over yourselves, you fucking tittybabies, and stop blaming females for your unwarranted asshurt.

Then there’s also this breakdown:

- You’re not a real friend if you do this.

- You don’t deserve anyone you do this to.

- You don’t really love someone if you do this to them, romantically or platonically.

- You’re not actually a nice person if you do this.

(Source: pythonessx)