Youth: I think I’m [insert neurotype, sexual orientation, or gender expression].
Society: No you’re not. You’re too young to know that. You’re just going through a phase.
Adult: I think I’m [insert neurotype, sexual orientation, or gender expression].
Society: No you’re not. If you were, you would have known a long time ago.
[Each panel shows a stick figure saying something, and responses from people.
Stick figure: Bob Smith groped my breasts at genre-con last month.
"Why are you trying to ruin Bob’s reputation?"
"Another man condemned without trial in the court of internet opinion."
"Online lynch mob!"
"I’ve never seen Bob harass anyone!"
"That’s not really harassment. It’s just Bob being Bob."
Stick figure: I was sexually harassed last month, but I’d prefer not to name names.
"How can I judge the situation if you won’t be specific?"
"If you were really harassed, you’d give the details."
"These vague and nebulous references are worse than useless."
"If you don’t name names, you’re responsible if he does it again!"
"I need to hear his side of the story."
"You obviously don’t care about fixing the problem. You just want attention."
Stick figure: (says nothing)
"She’s not saying anything. That must mean nothing happened."
"I haven’t heard about all this sexual harassmen. It must not really be a problem."
"If this is so widespread, why don’t more women speak out?"
"Why on earth would a woman be afraid to report harassment?"
"Oh, good. Can we get back to talking about real problems now?"
Reblogged for SO MUCH DAMN TRUTH
NEVER NOT REBLOG
We as a society really need to stop romanticizing the idea of “needing” romantic partners and “not being able to live without them” because it is incredibly unhealthy and leads people to wind up in unhealthy situations of dependency or feeling dependent and not thinking to change that mindset because it seems romantic
Part of the refusal to focus the responsibility and agency of committing the crime on the rapists (“what do you expect would happen?” as if the rapists are like a force of nature) is that these people DO think she deserved to be punished for her behaviour that they disapprove of, and they LIKE the idea that there are other people who will punish her for it. They WANT rape to be something that “just happens” to you if you’re bad, or go to jail, or whatever, rather than focusing on who does it, because if you do the latter, you might stop it, and if you stop it, then there’s no punishment…
Rape apologists believe that women acting a certain way is something that should be “corrected.” They just don’t want to be the ones to do it, but it’s useful to them if others “fix” the problem for them. So, it’s useful to them if homophobes believe that killing somebody is self defense because of “gay panic,” or men believe that raping an unconscious woman is something they can’t (and therefore don’t need to) control. It allows them to have something “uncontrollable” to threaten people with, and put the onus on the victim to avoid getting killed/raped rather than on the perpetrator, because in the victim-blaming narrative, there isn’t one. The rapist is like the wind, and the victim is a person who built their house poorly.
And that’s why people also are defending the rapists and acting as if it’s unfair for them to be convicted of a crime, because they believe these people weren’t wrong, that without them, how would this girl be punished? What would be the consequences of her drinking too much as a girl without the rapists? How could you threaten women to behave in our society if there isn’t a threat of rape? These guys were just enacting the “consequences” that they wanted her to face for being a girl and drinking too much.
The rapist as force of nature, rather than human being responsible for choosing to assault somebody, is really important to rape culture, to rape as corrective social tool, and a way to control women’s behaviour. In a way, these rape apologists aren’t wrong when they claim they aren’t blaming her for being raped because in order to blame her, you’d have to think her rape was wrong in the first place. And to them, it wasn’t, because to them, she’s the one that did something wrong. She’s the one that partied, drank, and flirted as a girl. She deserved punishment. To them, the rape wasn’t wrong. It was justice."
Amy Angelwings, The specter of “rape as punishment” behind the rape apologia around Steubenville (via seebster)
This is why rape apologists simultaneously terrify me and piss me off.
you know what’s dumb
the concept of treating adolescents like children throughout the entirety of their teenage years and then at around age 17 pulling a complete 180 and expecting them to decide within the next couple years what they want to do with the rest of their lives
you put it in words
I strongly dislike this idea that progression in countries is measured by their imitation of western society.
The Cultural Construct of Troubles with Boys in India by Aparajita Chowdhury
I think this quote is very important because people in the West tend to look down upon non-western societies like India for their misogyny and patriarchy, when in reality our own societies are just as problematic. It’s important to remind ourselves that nothing is ever black or white: India is a huge, diverse country and simply cannot be simplified to it’s problems with misogyny, same as any other country.
1. They tell us to carry mace, flashlights, whistles
And then sell us pants with no pockets.
2. “Well, you got a purse,” the man says.
Yeah, just excuse me while I fumble through
my bag in a dark alleyway.
I’m sure my attacker will patiently wait.
3. They say don’t drink.
And then tell us to
Ruin his libido with piss.
I don’t know about you,
But I get stage fright even with a full bladder.
4. They say take a martial arts class,
Learn to defend yourself.
Ten years into that pursuit now, myself
And my sensei’s never turned to me and said,
“Why don’t you wear your heels into class?
Wanna make sure you can do a proper take down in them.”
5. “Don’t wear your hair up,” says the person
Who’s never fought loose, waist-length hair in a windstorm.
Or pulled it out of sticky lip gloss for the umpteenth time.
6. “Carry your keys between your fingers like a weapon.”
Because three inches of dull metal
Is really menacing to someone who is bigger and stronger
And determined to hurt me.
[TW: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE]
Be sure to “full view” each page because (at least on my computer) the black in some of the pages is just GONE. Anyway, my design final. A comic attempting to address society’s failure of telling young boys (and girls too sometimes) that abuse/violence/bullying is NOT an appropriate way to show affection…
REBLOGGING AGAIN because I figured out what was up with the colors uhghhsdlkf
don’t be too clingy
don’t be such a ‘girl’
be a woman
but be hairless like a child
don’t wear skimpy outfits
don’t be such a ‘slut’
but take it off when i ask
don’t assert yourself
don’t be such a ‘bitch’
be nice to me
but don’t be a fucking doormat
don’t be ignorant
don’t be such a ‘bimbo’
but don’t argue your opinion with me
don’t wear make-up ever
don’t be so ‘insecure’
but don’t complain if i don’t like it
…the last, most vital thing is to get the message through that some people will never “work” in the sense they mean at all. They will never be “economically active” or “sustainable” or “self-sufficient” or any of the other dogmatic, de-humanising labels they invent to coat the disability stick they hit us with.
But they will almost certainly “contribute” Some will spend 90 hours a week caring for an adult or child totally reliant on them for every basic human need. Some will write great novels from their beds or paint great art using their mouths. Some will philosophise and others will make beautiful music. Some will counsel, using their experience to help others through the incredibly difficult times long term illness inevitably bring.
Any system that recognises contribution must include all contribution. Reciprocity and Responsibility work both ways, whether a “Big Society” or a “Good Society” or “One Nation” they are simply empty words unless we find a way to value the many unseen, daily contributions that keep our country rich and safe, and better.
To politicians and media and think-tanks I say : If you tell the country we contribute nothing, that we are nothing, that we’re worth nothing, can you blame them for believing it? Recognising all contribution tells the public that we really are “all in it together” and might just be a first step in showing the true value of our social security system, not just it’s worth."
“i’m a man and to be honest i’m just tired of society trying to make me feel guilty for being a man”