CHECK OUT TYRA BANKS RUNNING THROUGH NYC AND LOOKING HAGGARD WITHOUT MAKEUP! PLUS, WHAT YOU CAN DO TO KEEP YOUR MAN FROM EVER SEEING HOW FUCKING DISGUSTING YOU LOOK NATURALLY. WE HAVE THE SECRETS!
THE ROYAL SCANDAL OF ALL ROYAL SCANDALS! KATE MIDDLETON HAS BREASTS! SEE THE DUCHESS WITH HER TIDDAYS OUT AND FLOPPIN AROUND! WE ASK THE TOUGH QUESTIONS: “WTF WAS THAT STUPID SLUT THINKING?” AND MORE!
SHOCKING! JESSICA SIMPSON STILL A FAT WHALE AFTER HAVING A BABY ONLY A FEW MONTHS AGO! CHECK OUT THIS LIST OF CELEBS WHO HAD BABIES LAST WEEK. THEY LOOK LIKE FUGGIN’ WALRUSES ABOUT TO LOSE THEIR MEN! PLUS, HOW YOU CAN LOB OFF YOUR LIMBS WITH THE KNIVES IN YOUR KITCHEN AND LOSE WEIGHT FAST!
EXCLUSIVE: MORE WOMEN ARE INSECURE WITH THEIR BODIES THAN EVER BEFORE AND WE DON’T GET WHY THEY’RE SO EMOTIONAL. IS IT TIME TO BRING FAINTING COUCHES BACK? WE TACKLE THE ISSUE.
I hate the majority of magazines targeted at women.
Truth. If one of these is on the train and I flick through it, I end up feeling terrible and have to go and read something very feminist to make myself feel better.
[Image description: A convincing rip-off of a Cosmo magazine cover. The background is lavender and Christina Hendricks from “Med Men,” a buxom white woman with red hair, blue eyes, and a slightly quirky smile, is on the cover. Behind her head, the title of the magazine, “Overanalyzing.” All around her are magazine-style headings. In a purple circle: The shame and guilt issue.
Sex again? What are you an alley cat?
Lose 30lbs FAST Chop off your leg!
In big letters: NAKED We’re required to put the word NAKED on the cover.
Do cupcakes make good boyfriends?
Gaze upon the epic prow of Christina Hendricks: The woman your boyfriend masturbates to.
Sexy touch: Tickle his prostate with an egg-beater
PLUS: Death stalks you. The Sexiest sex to sex after sex.
In big letters: SEX: No joke, you need it so badly you’d blow a baboon
“I had to pay for my own drink”: One woman’s horror story.
Mediocre sex now! 3,295,761 tips
Are you talking about having kids one day enough?
Tone your butt until you’re hott enough to be offended when guys appreciate it.
In huge letters: SEX: You’re doing it wrong, dammit!
…. “Kinky sex: put your nipples on his balls”… WHAT? That’s not kinky, that’s just weird.
… Also, did they seriously just advocate the idea that someone’s vagina could be ugly?
… That, and what is wrong with having a large ass?
Um… this magazine cover is a spoof/parody/piss-take. It’s MEANT to sound offensive and ridiculous. :) It’s taking the piss out of those awful rags they call ‘women’s magazines’.
I can’t stand women’s magazines. My boyfriend always heads to the magazine section first when we go to bookshops, and at first I was like, “WHHYYYYYY, magazines suck” but then I realized that the magazines for teenage boys actually ARE cool and relevant. But when I look at the mags aimed at my demographic, I see celebrities, trash, weight loss, makeup, plastic surgery, tips on getting hot guys, soft core porn, more makeup, more celebs, the fucking Kardashians, Justin Bieber, makeup again…and above all, PHOTOSHOP. Airbrushed skin, huge tits, elongated necks, puffed up lips…..
I’m just so sick of it.